10-MINUTE LINK READ & 5-MINUTE POST BELOW
Article “Why are Christians so mean? Here are 10 excuses church people give for treating others badly” by Jeremy Myers (I do not know Mr. Myers, but am grateful he wrote this-I’m doing my best…) https://redeeminggod.com/10-excuses-christians-give-for-treating-others-badly/?fs=e&s=cl
WARNING-Heavy thoughts, but worth considering, especially during this time of observing and celebrating LOVE come in human form. May we all get right with those we have opportunity to, and forgive the memories that unsettle us - may we help each other through this process patiently, graciously and lovingly (I speak first to myself). I ask forgiveness where this may sound like preaching, for it is not; it’s the best and most expedient way I seek to express, in love, the concern I have as a Christian regarding reducing some of the hurt in our beloved societies and churches. Apologies also for the ALL CAPS/NOTE: I would color code, but cannot. It’s a highlight, not finger-pointing.
INTRO: I posted this accidentally “TO FRIENDS” last month on my account. It was to be for “ONLY ME” honing it before posting. I believe I won’t get it perfectly, and though this may be hard for some, I hope we do better going forward. I AM HUMBLY ASKING EVERYONE WHO CALLS THEMSELVES A CHRISTIAN TO READ THIS. Perception is reality. I pray we shut down harmful thinking / words, no matter the intent. Mine is to minimize this trait in myself where I may be tempted, and bring awareness to Christians hopefully avoiding the trap of rationalization. We need to admit when we are wrong, and make amends as quickly as possible - as Provebs states - as to avoid unnecessary hurt for long periods of time in and out of the church. A united church in spirit through mercy and understanding is a beautiful thing to behold.
POST: To my Christian friends…Most Christians are not this way. But it’s a reality to be on guard and stay away from…(Remember when I posted thoughts to my non-Christian friends a few months ago? I actually wanted to write my Christian friends first, but couldn’t find the words as this topic is complex. Yesterday, an article showed up that said what I wanted to say)
In an effort to make myself accountable and improve relations with everyone, I’m choosing to post. I hope this is a blessing. Please don’t hear any blame, simply an effort to be better myself and ask others to join in.
Here are my ten examples I’ve experienced about how this thinking looks practically played out-real life examples of bad Christian words/behaviors (whether myself, others, others’ stories or simply reading about bad Christian examples):
1-”I’m concerned about so-and-so, did you see that social media post? What do you think about what so-and-so said/did?” = GOSSIP / I have to turn my friends to the person they are ‘concerned’ about to get firsthand feedback, and practice recusing myself from those conversations. But if my friend has reached out over and over to their offender and the offender continues grieving, ghosting, gaslighting and gossiping about my friend, I need to understand that my friend may need to vent and not name my friend as a gossip.
2-“This world is going to hell in a hand basket…” then focusing on the bad around rather than the enormously more good that is happening = CATASTROPHIZING / Maybe limiting news to a need-to-know basis
3-“My politics and religion are aligned…” = DISINGENUOUS/ There are well-meaning people in all parties with valid thoughts; praying and hearing others is better than “speaking out” or “calling out.” Conversely, “My politics and religion are separate,” in a sense yes-we want good people in office. They may not align with all we believe, but may mostly align with political & leadership expectations that govern people well-they should be prayed for constantly regardless of how we feel. We also have the power to prayerfully vote them in or out based on performance, not gossip.
4-“How do we help others break cycles…” at the expense of looking at our own cycles, or, not to admit that we ourselves were or are in cycles that Christ died for = JUDGMENTALISM / Understand Christians are not above, better-than nor given personal peace to disrupt the peace of others/non-Christians
5-“We don’t shun, we’re just setting boundaries until and if we deem said person’s behavior improves…” = SHUNNING / The only time shunning is encouraged us if someone deliberately teaches or bullies Christians to go against one’s ideas of what it means to be a Christian. In fact, we are to pray [continually] for adversaries, love those who persecute us and be happy for any redemption. So far, I have not been persecuted by any non-Christian. In fact, all non-Christians I know accept my faith respectfully. What a great testimony of God’s love through the love of others
6-“[We] need to be at church every time the doors are open…” then not being on the lookout when a fellow Christian says they are coming for a visit. Or worse, locking the doors and not opening the door when their brother / sister shows up = [do I really need to NAME THIS ONE?] / I believe it is this that Christ talks about when he tells the self-righteous that they neither walk through that door [of salvation, forgiveness, grace, etc] and the self-righteous keep others from entering that door as well
7-“That person is broken beyond repair / so-and-so will always be that way / they are hateful, mean…” = FAITHLESSNESS in God’s grace of transforming hearts / Even with what this article states, I believe I and anyone else who desires, can change to be more loving, listening to others and not seek to be the world’s Holy Spirit
8-“They asked for trouble, let them get themselves out of it” = I don’t even have the word to name this HORRIFIC LABEL / I believe the Bible says that if it’s within our power to do, to help others. In time, healing comes
9-“I can forgive but not forget” = UNFORGIVENESS / If God says God can forget, and God asks Christians to be imitators of God, we can forget in time. But if Christians continue to shun others and attach the same story/label to those they disagree with, and the other person (the disagreed-with) is transforming for the better, how will that person (the disagreed-with) ever be given a chance on this earth to move forward among other Christians - who are to be every Christian’s spiritual family (no matter the fellowship name)? It is remaining in relationship - no matter what - that helps the hurting heal. It also heals those who hurt the hurting/are mean to others in the name of Christ. We all need healing and disassociation from any meanness I imagine comes from pride, arrogance and self-satisfaction
10-“Isn’t pointing out a Christian’s meanness mean”? = LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY / I’m glad someone took the courage to name the fruits of this bad spirit, and pray I have very little, if anything, to do with this spirit
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